New Hope Recovery Center believes that addiction, much like other life threatening illnesses, is a treatable disease. Our treatment provides education and counseling to better assist you and your family understand the nature of addiction. Please contact us if you have further questions regarding all forms of addiction.

Jeff Zacharias Social Worker of the Year

Jeff Zacharias

The following is an interview of Jeff Zacharias, New Hope Recovery Center President and Clinical Director, by Triggr.

Q&A with Jeff Zacharias, Owner & Psychotherapist at New Hope Recovery Center in Chicago

New Hope Recovery Center is an alcohol and drug rehab treatment center in Chicago that provides Partial Hospitalization, Intensive Outpatient treatment,Aftercare and Individual Psychotherapy Counseling. They also have a LGBTQI-specific addiction treatment program entitled "New Hope With Pride.” Below is a conversation with Jeff Zacharias, the owner and one of the psychotherapists at New Hope.

Tell me a bit about yourself and your counseling background.

I’m the owner, Clinical Director and a counselor at New Hope Recovery Center. We bought New Hope over 6 years ago but I’ve been working in the addiction treatment field since 2005 in inpatient and outpatient settings. I’m an ACSW, LSW and a certified advanced alcohol and drug counselor.

What drew you to working with people in recovery?

This is a second career for me. Before starting in the addition treatment field, I was in marketing and finance. What drew me to change careers was my own experience in recovery - I’m sober 15 years now. When I went to treatment in 2003 as a gay male and having some trauma related to that, I felt like some things in my treatment were missed. So when I went back to school, I had a drive to help people like me. I felt like there was an opportunity to not only help LGBTQI stay sober but to also deal with the trauma associated with being gay. Because I saw that when I was looking for treatment, there really wasn’t anything available targeting people with this mix of needs. So that’s been the biggest driver for me, providing something for this community.

Tell me more about your work with the LGBTQI community in particular.

One thing that is challenging is that there are different treatment needs within the LGBTQI community. Each designation has unique issues with power, sex, gender, identity and we cater our treatment to the needs of the individual. But one commonality within this community is that there is often trauma associated with shame, fear and oppression that a hetereosexual treatment framework doesn’t really touch on. We have have a framework that directly addresses the needs of people in the LGBTQI community. Because for a person struggling, it’s often not about the substance - that’s a symptom of something deeper. Our clinicians are extensively trained in providing a space where we’re going to talk about everything that’s going on in your life rather than only the specifics of substances. We’re going to talk about things that make people uncomfortable like sex, relationships and money. And I think there is something very powerful about being in a safe space where people feel empowered to talk about not just their substances, but their lives.

How has treatment changed in recent years?

The biggest change I’ve seen and that I’ve been passionate about from the beginning is the move away from the idea that 12-step treatment is the only path. New Hope is not a 12-step treatment center. Because being a 12 step treatment center isn't treatment, it’s using a framework and then just forcing people into that framework. I knew from the start of my career that I wanted to integrate more clinical work. I wanted to make sure we were considering all pathways. We were the first treatment center in the Chicago area to host Refuge Recovery meetings. We also brought in SMART Recovery, which was pretty new in Chicago just 5 years ago when we started hosting their meetings. We did get some shit about it because when we started, the 12-step model was so revered and was treated as the only path to recovery. I just don’t believe that 12-step is the only way and many studies since that time have shown this to be true. Plus we know that in the gay community there is so much spiritual abuse. So, many people just don’t want the religious associations common in many 12-step programs.

The other change I’ve observed is the growth of medical assisted treatment. I’ve seen firsthand the value in using MAT to allow people to heal and have some agency in their recovery process. And to that end we’re big believers in harm reduction and so everything we do is geared toward that. We were early leaders in Chicago in supporting MAT as part of our treatment program.

Another change is there is now more recognition of addiction interaction disorder. For a long time, the treatment community didn’t appreciate the complexity of addressing the interactions of multiple disorders. This is one of the reasons we focus on addressing not just the substances, but other mental health needs and behaviors of our clients.

What would you say are the biggest barriers you see to someone starting treatment?

The biggest barrier is often a person’s financial or insurance situation. I really wish there were more options for people that are unfunded or don’t have access to resources, but sadly the options are limited in Illinois.

Another barrier can be people’s mistrust of treatment based on their negative experience with a past provider or based on a general distrust of governmental, social, financial or other systems. In the LGBT community in particular, this distrust comes from a sense that the unique needs of this community aren’t going to be understood, let alone met.

How would you describe New Hope’s care philosophy?

It’s very personal and individualized and feels like a close community. Our groups are kept at only 8 people tops. We also take a holistic approach and treat the whole person - the mind, body and spirit are treated as equal. This ends up meaning that we’re very open and creatively work to find whatever treatment path is going to work for each individual. We have an “all avenues to wellness” approach.

One of the things we tell people when they call us for the first time is to come in and talk to us. We are very open and honest in talking and listening so we can work together to find the right path for each person, even if it’s not New Hope. We’re very ethical in how we approach treatment and never pressure people into any option that isn’t right for them.

Can you describe what a group session in New Hope’s IOP program is like?

First and foremost our job is to have a place that is safe because we know how vulnerable people feel during recovery. Everything you say here is confidential, it’s anonymous and we hold that sacred. In our groups and just generally in our practice, we work hard to help people feel warm, welcomed and cared for. It’s hard to put a finger on why, but one thing we hear time and time again from people that come here is: “it feels better here” and “I feel comfortable here”. I think mostly this is because they have a family of people here that love being here and have our clients’ best interests at heart.

Our groups are engaging and fun. Our clients often tell us they have never laughed so much in treatment. We tailor our groups for the particular people in the group at that time. We are very open to modifying our planned topics based on suggestions from the group members about what they feel they need most at that moment and based on our observations of the group.

And so with groups, I think the best thing I can recommend to someone is to come in and give our program a try, they can just listen. And I can’t think of one time ever where someone came in for their first session and left because they were anxious or uncomfortable.

How much 1:1 counseling does New Hope do with people in the IOP program?

By the nature of us being small, we may not be doing a formal meeting every day, but we all know every client by name and so there is a constant checking in. People may just check in for 15 minutes, but generally there is some 1:1 interaction nearly every day. And then on top of that, we also check in more officially once per week.

Who would you say is a good fit for New Hope’s program? Who tends not to be as good a fit?

I don’t think there are many people that we can’t assist, but there some constraints. We don’t serve people 18 and under, for example. We do also ask that people are sober while they are here and if they aren’t ready to give up their substance of choice, they may not be right for New Hope. But other than that, there really aren’t any barriers.

Do you have an example of a recent patient’s experience at New Hope? What was their background, and how did New Hope work with them?

There are so many examples but I’ll share about one person I just met with today. He had used since he was a teenager and now is in his early 50s, and in that time never had any significant period of sobriety. He’s also HIV positive, is in an open relationship with someone who also has substance issues and has a mentally disabled son. So he never felt there was treatment that could help someone with his complicated background. But he came to New Hope about a year and a half ago after a suicide attempt. He’s been with us since (seeing an individual counselor here), sober the whole time and doing great. He just expanded his business and has undergone meaningful, lasting life changes. He stood out to me since I think he’s really proof that anyone can overcome difficult obstacles and life circumstances, and make a change, and succeed.

NEW HOPE RECOVERY CENTER ANNOUNCES CHICAGO’S ONLY RECOVERY MEETING EXCLUSIVELY FOR THERAPISTS 

AND HEALING PROFESSIONALS

New Hope Recovery Center

  • Seeking a recovery meeting without worry of seeing clients?

  • Want to attend a recovery/support meeting dedicated to those in the Healing Professions?

Refuge Recovery and New Hope Recovery Center announce the only Chicagoland Recovery Meeting exclusively for Therapists, Clinicians and Other Healing Professionals.  Join us for weekly Refuge Recovery Meetings every Sunday from 9am-10:15am beginning May 7, 2017 at New Hope Recovery Center, 2835 N. Sheffield Ave., Suite #308, Chicago, IL 60657.  Questions, call 773-883-3916.

Directions to New Hope Recovery Center:
On Sheffield one block north of the Diversey Brown line stop.  Parking available in front of Core Power Yoga and on street.
Refuge Recovery is a community of people using the practices of mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness and generosity to heal the pain and suffering addiction has caused us and our loved ones. We follow the Four Truths of Refuge Recovery, a Buddhist-oriented path to addiction recovery, proven successful with addicts and alcoholics who commit to the Buddhist path of meditation, generosity, kindness, and renunciation.  Beginners and curious healing professionals are welcome.

Written By: New Hope Recovery Center

New Hope Recovery Center is located in Chicago and offers individualized alcohol and drug addiction treatment in a loving supportive environment.  We support all avenues to recovery and offer two Refuge Recovery Meetings each week as well as SMART Recovery, NA, AA and CMA meetings.    Contact New Hope Recovery Center at 888-707- 4673 (HOPE).

NCADJeff Zacharias, New Hope Recovery Center President and Clinical Director, recently spoke at the National Conference on Addiction Disorders (NCAD) on the Intersection of Sex, Drug and Technology.

Behavioral Healthcare Magazine summarized several main points of the talk to help clinicians when working with LGBTQI clients:

  • Social Media is the new drug dealer with the GPS phone as the new corner spot
  • Understand that most chem-sex clients have experienced trauma
  • Trauma in the LGBTQI community often begins early in life
  • Help the client feel safe and calm

You can request the Powerpoint of Jeff's talk but emailing info@new-hope-recovery.com

LGBT addiction treatmentNew Hope Recovery Center and its New Hope with Pride Program have extensive experience working with the LGBTQI individuals and the community. For more information call 888-707-4673(HOPE) or email us at info@new-hope-recovery.com.

Written by: New Hope Recovery Center

 

 

 

New Hope Recovery Center is pleased to announce that it will be hosting the FIRST Refuge Recovery Meeting in Chicago on Friday July 29, 2016 at 7pm.  The meeting will be held at New Hope Recovery Center, 2835 N. Sheffield Ave., Suite 308, Chicago, IL 60657.

Refuge Recovery is a mindfulness-based addiction recovery community that practices and utilizes Buddhist philosophy as the foundation of the recovery process. Drawing inspiration from the core teachings of the Four Noble Truths, emphasis is placed on both knowledge and empathy as a means for overcoming addiction and its causes. Those struggling with any form of addiction greatly benefit when they are able to understand the suffering that addiction has created while developing compassion for the pain they have experienced. 
Refuge Recovery is a practice, a process, a set of tools, a treatment, and a path to healing addiction and the suffering caused by addiction. Buddhism recognizes a nontheistic approach to spiritual practice. The Refuge Recovery program of recovery does not ask anyone to believe anything, only to trust the process and do the hard work of recovery.
Refuge Recovery is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to build an extensive and comprehensive network of Refuge Recovery groups, meetings, and communities that practice, educate, and provide Buddhist teachings and meditations for anyone seeking recovery from addiction.  
New Hope Recovery Center is proud to offer this new unique addition to Chicago's Recovery Community.  For more information, contact New Hope Recovery Center at 888-707-HOPE (4673) or 773-883-3916 or email us at info@new-hope-recovery.com.  New Hope is located immediately North of the Diversey Brown Line 'L stop on Sheffield.

 

Written by: New Hope Recovery Center

National Drug Facts Week: January 26 - February 1, 2015Addiction Treatment Drug Facts

National Drug Facts Week℠ (NDFW) is an annual health observance week for teens to shatter the myths about drugs and drug abuse. NDFW centers on community events for teens, NIDA’s Drug Facts Chat Day, and partnerships.

There are great resources available at the National Institute on Drug Abuse.  For example here are interesting Quizzes about Specific Drugs:

Methamphetamines

Opiates

Hallucinogens

Marijuana

Stimulants

Did you know that drug overdose kills more Americans than car accidents?

Can you help spread the FACTS?

Written By: New Hope Recovery Center

 

attachment theory and addictionThere are many theories to explain the etiology of addiction.  Historically, various models have been developed, become widely accepted and then rejected or modified as new theories emerged and our understanding of addiction grew.  One model that has been gaining popularity is the concept of addiction as an attachment disorder.

Attachment theory comes from the work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth.  Much of their research was done in the mid-1900's and sought to prove that human infants instinctually become distressed and agitated when separated from primary caregivers.  Additionally, when tired, stressed or fearful, an infant will purposefully seek out physical proximity and contact with the caregiver.

Much more recently, many researchers have recognized and sought to better understand the connection between maladaptive attachment patterns and the development of addiction (http://www.substanceabusepolicy.com/content/1/1/32, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S030646030600270X, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306460305001553).  From the disease model of addiction, we know that there is both a genetic and an environmental component to addiction and that both can change brain chemistry and structure.  One such change is the neurological consequences of poor or inhibited early attachment experiences.  Much of attachment theory is based on 2 variables described by Bowlby: dependability of an attachment figure, and judgement about worth of self as reflected back by the attachment figure.  Both of these factors heavily influence later behavioral and personality consistency as well as one's emotional regulation.  We now have a better understanding of the way that childhood relationships affect adult attachment styles (i.e an individual raised in an addictive environment will tend to display a more insecure attachment style throughout adulthood).

Early attachment deficits have been shown to be correlated with many addictions, and it is thought that those with poorer emotional regulation use substances or addictive behaviors to help regulate themselves. (http://www.naadac.org/attachmentandtrauma, Addiction as an Attachment Disorder, by Philip J. Flores)  Additionally, secure attachment is necessary for optimal functioning within relationships (having the capacity for both intimacy and independence).  When attachment style is insecure and one develops an addiction, a vicious cycle begins:  increasing addiction leads to more and more isolation from others, and therefore perpetuating the insecure attachment style.

Research has shown that 12-Step programs are a highly effective solution for addiction recovery when viewed through the lens of attachment theory because these programs focus on social support, connection with others and unconditional positive regard for self and others (Smith and Toniga, 2009).

Although attachment styles are formed in early childhood and do carry over into our adult lives, those with insecure attachment styles can learn healthier, more adaptive ways of interacting with others and can improve their capacity for intimacy within relationships.  In terms of addiction treatment, this can be a crucial concept for counselors and therapists to understand in their efforts to tailor the treatment in this manner as well as helping the recovering individual decrease shame that is so often attached to addiction.

New Hope Recovery Center is located in Chicago and offers individualized alcohol and drug addiction treatment in a loving supportive environment.  Contact New Hope Recovery Center at 888-707- 4673 (HOPE).

Written By: New Hope Recovery Center

Best Addiction Articles 2014To start the New Year, we wanted to highlight our most-read articles from 2014. A few themes showed up in this year's Top 15:  Heroin, Sex Addiction and Marijuana all had more than one article in the top 15. Articles around Treatment and Recovery were quite popular as well.

 

Here are our 15 most popular articles from 2014:

Heroin Related Articles:

Celebrities Who Have Used Heroin - This was our most popular article from 2014.  We discuss 12 celebrities who have used or were addicted to heroin, but are now in recovery.  Their stories have been inspiring for many of our clients.

Chicago Heroin Addiction Facts 

Marijuana and Teens:

38 Marijuana Warning Signs: Is Your Teen Smoking Weed?

Marijuana Use Affects Teen Brain Development

Recovery and Treatment Articles:

Why Spirituality Is Important In Addiction Recovery - This article was our most popular on LinkedIn in 2014.  Many therapists and counselors found it to be a helpful way to discuss spirituality with their clients, particularly younger clients.

Drug Rehab & Alcohol Rehab: 6 Differences Between Men and Women - This was our 2nd most popular article for 2014.

What You Should Know About Vivitrol and Addiction Treatment

6 Tips for a Sober Thanksgiving - Although published quite recently, this article made it into the top 15.  It contains great advice for handling the holidays and family while in recovery.

Addiction Counseling: Abstinence Versus Harm Reduction - Harm reduction versus abstinence continues to be a hot button topic for many.  In this article we try to show how the hardline distinction between the two approaches has be softening recently.

Sex and Love Addiction were popular during 2014:

3 Levels of Sex Addiction

19 Warning Signs of Sex Addiction

10 Signs of Sex, Love and Relationship Addiction

Articles About Specific Addictions:

Xanax Addiction

Why Crystal Meth is So Addictive

19 Symptoms of Alcoholism; Being an Alcoholic

 Written By: New Hope Recovery Center

New Hope Recovery Center is a premier treatment facility located in Chicago, Illinois.  We can be reached at 888-707-4673 (HOPE).

 

 

 

 

 

 

Addiction is a family disease that affects everyone connected to the addict. So what should family and friends do (and not do) when someone they love is addicted? 

Addiction is a disease of the body, mind and spirit from which people can and do recover. Like any other disease, no one intends to get sick or wishes it upon someone. Addiction recovery is a process of healing from the different layers of pain, disappointment, shame and guilt that come with addiction.

What not to do:

  • Do not think you can control the addict or the addiction.  Understand that the addict and the addiction are beyond your control.  You can only control yourself.
  • Do not enable the addict or alcoholic. There is a difference between helping and enabling someone.  Helping someone is doing something for someone which they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling someone is doing for someone something they can do and should do for themselves.  Helping looks at the long term benefits and consequences, whereas enabling only looks at the immediate situation or drama.
  • Do not make threats you won’t be able to follow through on. Addicts/alcoholics will continue to push any boundaries to the limits and weaken your resolve. Set limits you can keep and then keep them.
  • Do not shame or scorn the addict/alcoholic. Addiction is a shame based disease and does not need any more shaming to fuel itself. The addict/alcoholic often suffers from chronic shame which includes different levels of low self-worth, low self-esteem, self-hatred, and a distorted self-image.
  • Do not make excuses or cover up for the addict/alcoholic.  Allow them to experience the full consequences of their addiction. Do not deny or minimize the addiction or its severity. Trying to fix their problems, manage their lives or control the addict’s behaviors only prolongs the addict from learning to be accountable and responsible for their actions. They are kept from learning the valuable lessons they need in order to grow and change.
  • Do not allow your emotions to get the best of you. You have ridden a roller coaster of emotions long enough; it is now time for you to get off the ride. If you find yourself getting overly emotional in dealing with the addict/alcoholic, step away until you can be calm.  Addiction creates drama, so be prepared for how you will act before the drama begins.

What to do:

  • Be patient while the addict/alcoholic is in recovery. Recovery is a journey not a destination.  Recovery will happen in several stages and may not happen in a neat line.
  • Do what you can at the moment. There will be situations where you will be hesitant or confused about what to do. Make the best decision you can at the time and move one.  Learn what works and doesn’t work and act accordingly.  Remember to fully accept that you made the best decision at the time with the information you had available.
  • Do focus on yourself not on the addict/alcoholic. Loved ones need to focus their efforts on staying healthy. You can’t help the addict if you are not healthy and cannot help yourself. You and your families’ well-being depends on it.
  • Set boundaries for your long-term health and sanity. Lovingly (and frequently, if necessary) insist that your boundaries be respected and state the consequences for any violation of your boundaries.  Follow through on these consequences. See your follow-through as an act of love that builds trust for yourself and the addict/alcoholic.
  • Do identify and recognize the different areas of life that have been neglected as a result of your preoccupation with the addict/alcoholic and begin to rectify any damage done.
  • Do practice letting go of your need to fix, manage or control the addict/alcohol or situations and circumstances that arise from the addiction. This is sometimes called "release with love”.
  • Do seek help for yourself and other family members. Getting outside help is often critical for complete healing and growth. It can also provide a healthy perspective on your situation and interactions.  Seek out a therapist, counselor, Al-AnonNar-anon, Smart Recovery, Co-Dependents Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics or some other group that focuses on those who are affected by an addict/alcoholic.

Change will take time but will be a beautiful journey of uncovering, discovering, and recovering your lives. You will not only survive, but thrive.

Remember: Progress, not Perfection

New Hope Recovery Center provides individualized treatment for all clients.  We understand that each client is unique.  If you or someone you love is struggling with an addiction to drugs or alcohol, you can reach us at 888-707-4673 (HOPE) or info@new-hope-recovery.com.

Written By: New Hope Recovery Center

 

 

addiction recoverySelf Esteem....We hear the term thrown around a lot these days.  What is it, how is it different from self-confidence, and what does it mean in terms of our recovery from addiction?

Self esteem is generally defined as our perception of ourselves.  “Good” self esteem includes being secure and accepting of who we are, flaws included.  We are happy with what we see in the mirror and comfortable in our own skin. Self confidence has to do with our perceived abilities to do or accomplish something.  It is usually a result of having been able to overcome certain obstacles, difficulties or challenges in the past.

Self esteem and self confidence are not mutually exclusive concepts.  It is common for one to affect the other.  It is important to strengthen both in addiction recovery.  Without self confidence, we are likely to feel that we cannot cope with life’s challenges unless we use drugs, alcohol or our addictive behaviors.  We may feel that recovery is not worth working at because relapse is inevitable and we will ultimately “fail” at yet another endeavor.  There can be a “what’s the use” attitude with low self-confidence.

Without a healthy self esteem, we may feel that we are not worthy of recovery or of experiencing good things in our lives.  We may think that others won’t want to spend time with us as we really are...sober.

Most people dealing with addiction feel low self esteem.  Many wonder if they became engaged in addictive behaviors because of low self esteem, or if their self esteem decreased as a result of their addictive behaviors.  But if we get bogged down with this chicken and egg type questions, we may never fully immerse ourselves in recovery.  And this will prevent us from building up our self confidence as well as our self esteem.

In addiction recovery we are taught that we must have humility.  It is easy to confuse the difference between low self esteem and humility.  To be humble is to recognize our mistakes and shortcomings and to graciously accept and use our strengths.  It is having a right-sized view of ourselves and others and our importance in the world around us.  It is seeing that we are part of a very big world and our needs and wants are equal with those around us.

Having humility allows us to improve both our self esteem as well as our self confidence.  By admitting our mistakes honestly to ourselves and to others as part of a program of rigorous honesty, we learn to feel confident that others not only can and will accept us, but will love us all the more for our mistakes and shortcomings.  We learn that we can handle emotional intensity, conflict and confrontation without the aid of drugs or alcohol.  As our self confidence grows, our self esteem will often follow.

Building self esteem is not a quick project, but can be done.  When we allow ourselves to be seen truly as we are, we realize that our imperfections and shortcomings are our gifts to share with others.  We can see and our mistakes are our battle scars that prove where we’ve been and that can help others.

New Hope Recovery Center provides individualized treatment for all clients for long term recovery.  We understand that each client is unique.  If you or someone you love is struggling with an addiction to drugs or alcohol, you can reach us at 888-707-4673 (HOPE) or info@new-hope-recovery.com.

Written By: New Hope Recovery Center

 

addiction in the familyAddiction doesn’t happen in a bubble, it has a way of altering a family and the interactions of family members.  The effect addiction in the family has becomes quite apparent when we look at the dysfunctional communication roles that family members often take on.  These interactions are fittingly called The Drama Triangle.  There are three roles in the Drama Triangle and each one is reactive and manipulative instead of honest and authentic.

What Are The Roles People Play When Addiction Exists In A Family?

Victim: This person continually feels victimized for what others are doing to him or her.    They feel helpless and hopeless.  Victims typically have unrealistic expectations and feel despair, vulnerability, and suffer chronic disappointment. Victims or martyrs tend to communicate in passive ways.  The victim avoids responsibility by blaming others and trying to control them with guilt.  This person feels “less than” the persecutor and often receives pity and is taken care of by the rescuer.

Persecutor: This person acts out in order to get revenge and/or offend others, as a way of avoiding his or her own discomfort.  Persecutors often communicate in an aggressive way.  They blame and criticize others.  They see everything as win/lose and insist on “being right”.  This person feels “better than” the victim and uses intimidation and threats to feel power and try to boost self-esteem.

Rescuer: This person is a natural caretaker and very non-confrontational.  They keep secrets and enable addictive behaviors.  Rescuers provide unasked help (while neglecting themselves) and often feel tired, depleted, unappreciated, and resentful. Rescuers communicate in a passive-aggressive way.  This person feels superior to both the persecutor and the victim.  Rescuers concentrate on others in an effort to avoid turning inward.

If you see yourself in different roles in different situations, that is expected!   

People will start in one role and often move around the triangle to different roles, sometimes within one interaction.  For instance, consider an alcoholic who is out late drinking while their partner is at home worried.  The alcoholic may come home to an angry partner (persecutor role) and instantly be in the victim role but then try to turn the blame onto his/her partner (therefore reversing the roles).  The interaction may then evolve further with the partner helping the alcoholic to bed and calling into work on his/her behalf the next day (rescuing role).

Also, don’t forget this is the drama triangle, so these roles are assumed when things are going awry.  These are not permanent roles.  However, as we know as an addiction progresses things go awry more and more often.

Why Would Anyone Participate In The Drama Triangle?

We take on these roles because subconsciously there is a perceived benefit to each one.

  • The victim receives pity and doesn’t need to take full responsibility for their actions.
  • The rescuer feels superior although over time they feel unappreciated, frustrated and tired from their attempts to rescue.
  • The persecutor feels a sense of power and entitlement and demands respect from others.

But these benefits are really an illusion, Claude Steiner comments, “The victim is not really as helpless as he feels, the rescuer is not really helping, and the persecutor does not really have a valid complaint.”  All the roles have something in common: by taking on a role, you don’t have to deal with your own issues or take responsibility for your own actions.  The roles serve the purpose of getting our adult needs met but in immature ways.  All three roles share a lack of boundaries and hinder one’s ability to be intimate and/or respond to others appropriately.

How To Step Out Of The Drama Triangle?

The only person you can control is yourself.  You can begin to step out of the unmanageability of the drama triangle by:

  • Recognizing that there is a Drama Triangle that is not working
  • Setting healthy boundaries
  • Taking responsibility for your own actions
  • Speaking honestly, calmly saying what you really mean
  • Having respect for yourself and others
  • Valuing the relationships more than being right, or better than

If you or a loved one is repeatedly in The Drama Triangle because of addiction.  You can get help getting out by contacting New Hope Recover Center at info@new-hope-recovery.com or 773-883-3916.  For more information about us visit our website at www.new-hope-recovery.com.

Other articles you may find interesting: Family Roles and Addiction

Written By: New Hope Recovery Center